Here I am again.
So much has gone through my head in the last couple years that I intended to write about and I can't remember any of them. I guess I should have written them down huh?
OK, segue to the diagnosis. After urging by a counselor I looked into having myself assessed for ADD. Yep! I have ADD. I have always joked about it but never pursued it because I already take a medication that does not play nice with ADD medication. There was also the stigma that my generation was raised with that good old self discipline was the answer. Put your nose to the grindstone and....well... That never sounded like a viable option for me but what did I know. I lacked self discipline.
Can you imagine how freeing it is to find out that it's a chemical imbalance in my brain, not laziness, rudeness, irresponsibility or lack of self discipline? I'm actually excited! There may be hope! Going to the right Dr. opens doors I thought were closed forever. He is going to investigate whether or not there is a new pharmaceutical out there that will still my spinning thoughts. Did I say spinning? Actually it's more like swishing really fast. I want to sit still so I don't distract the person behind me in church. (Yes, someone actually put their hands on my shoulders and asked if I ever sit still. Um, no.) I want to sit still and listen to the lyrics of a whole song and revel in the message! I want to sit still and enjoy the sound of the ocean for longer than a few seconds before my rapidly swishing thoughts swerved in another direction that had nothing peaceful to offer at that moment. I want to pray, and listen to my savior's voice....for a whole 5 minutes at least before some previous conversation I had or wanted to have in the worst way starts rolling through my visit with Jesus. I forget that He's even there! How rude is that!?!?!?
I want to eat lot's more slowly! I may even enjoy my food. I want to think more slowly so I can listen better. I want to talk more slowly so those I'm talking to can follow what I'm saying without feeling overwhelmed by me. I've been overwhelming to so many, and overwhelmed by frustration that I can't discipline myself to be less than overwh....well, you know. My world has gotten a little small.
I want to start a task and finish it....finish it! Squirrels live in my house. They're in the garage, the fridge, the guest room, the linen closet... I want to be able to go back to sleep in the night without racing thoughts and repeated song lyrics! Stupid songs at that! I don't just ruminate on one thing. I hear the rapidly swishing noise of the whirlpool harass me beyond white noise to downright infuriating intrusion into my sleep time. Thank goodness for Ambien! It doesn't mess with my other med.
Oh yeah, I was cleaning my room when I saw my laptop. SQUIRREL!
HOPE!
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Friday, May 3, 2013
Hmmm...What about profanity? This will be a controversial expression of the "opinionation" (I made that word up) I referred to in my prior writings. Thank you for listening. :-)
There was a post on my Facebook news feed today that showed a poster of an actor making a declaration of displeasure about something or other. His description made use of the F-bomb. I hid the post! Why is profanity so rampant? There is still a huge percentage of society that is offended by such language.
When I was a waitress there was a culture clash between the kitchen and the servers in the dining room. Since it is very inappropriate and unprofessional to use profanity on the floor, the serving staff refrained. Doesn't that in and of itself say that you should watch your mouth while in public? The F word and others flew out of the kitchen regularly, during regular conversation. Let me ask you this. If you use the F word to refer to just about everything in your life, what do you say when you are really mad?
When I watch a movie at a theater today I cringe every time naughty words are used just because the screenwriter thinks this would be a good place for some. It ruins the movie for me. If a movie made today were to be edited to exclude all profane expression, would you notice something missing? Really? I would doubt it because if the story is engaging, and creative, intelligent words were used in the dialog, there would be no void in the entertainment value of the film.
I find cussing and foul language as a constant form of expression as bad as 2nd hand cigarette smoke being blown in my face. Call me a prude! It's OK with me but I challenge you to find a different way to express yourself that would make others understand what you really mean. Believe it or not, I actually looked up a list of synonyms for F-ing. It is a verb and all synonyms referred to the sex act. Save it for your bedroom!
There. My first vent. To all my friends who keep naughty words in your vocabulary, I still love you and appreciate the way you respect my preference to not have to hear it. I hope you still love me too. All I am asking for is a little restraint that will go a long way toward demonstrating a respectful attitude toward your fellow man.
There was a post on my Facebook news feed today that showed a poster of an actor making a declaration of displeasure about something or other. His description made use of the F-bomb. I hid the post! Why is profanity so rampant? There is still a huge percentage of society that is offended by such language.
When I was a waitress there was a culture clash between the kitchen and the servers in the dining room. Since it is very inappropriate and unprofessional to use profanity on the floor, the serving staff refrained. Doesn't that in and of itself say that you should watch your mouth while in public? The F word and others flew out of the kitchen regularly, during regular conversation. Let me ask you this. If you use the F word to refer to just about everything in your life, what do you say when you are really mad?
When I watch a movie at a theater today I cringe every time naughty words are used just because the screenwriter thinks this would be a good place for some. It ruins the movie for me. If a movie made today were to be edited to exclude all profane expression, would you notice something missing? Really? I would doubt it because if the story is engaging, and creative, intelligent words were used in the dialog, there would be no void in the entertainment value of the film.
I find cussing and foul language as a constant form of expression as bad as 2nd hand cigarette smoke being blown in my face. Call me a prude! It's OK with me but I challenge you to find a different way to express yourself that would make others understand what you really mean. Believe it or not, I actually looked up a list of synonyms for F-ing. It is a verb and all synonyms referred to the sex act. Save it for your bedroom!
There. My first vent. To all my friends who keep naughty words in your vocabulary, I still love you and appreciate the way you respect my preference to not have to hear it. I hope you still love me too. All I am asking for is a little restraint that will go a long way toward demonstrating a respectful attitude toward your fellow man.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Since my description says that I am opinionated then I shall begin opining. Since my description says that I am not a fan of conflict I have been reluctant to proceed with my expression. If you agree with me or find my perspective worth pondering, please engage! If you disagree or have a very different opinion, please be kind. I encourage freedom of speech with civility.
My current situation involves something that most of society would deem a darn shame if not tragic. You see, I have a son (A) who has recently been arrested, is in jail and awaiting a hearing to see if his case should continue to trial. Darn shame? Sure. As his Mom I cry "It's not supposed to be this way." As a Christ following, fervent praying Mom I say Hallelujah! God does what God needs to do to accomplish what God wants! {" The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." 2 Peter 3:9*}
He is safe! His brain is not continually being altered by the chemicals that cause him to see life in a tragic, distorted way....the way that killed his brother 3 years ago yesterday. I have hope for his recovery as long as he is breathing! My God is a God of hope. { "I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Rom 15:13*} Walking by faith means I don't always see that God is working {Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Heb 11:1*} but I know He is and my son's arrest is clear evidence that He is. Sure, it is a darn shame...even tragic that God's chosen path for A is this way but God knows us and what will work best to get through our human, self entitled, stubborn, prideful little minds so that we choose to turn (repent) from our destructive ways and walk into the promise that He made to us through Christ.
A may choose to walk away again from this path but I have confident hope that God will not let go of the child He gave me to fervently pray for. I rejoice that He hears and answers, and hope that A chooses the promise of Christ before his final breath.
Amen.
*New Living Translation
My current situation involves something that most of society would deem a darn shame if not tragic. You see, I have a son (A) who has recently been arrested, is in jail and awaiting a hearing to see if his case should continue to trial. Darn shame? Sure. As his Mom I cry "It's not supposed to be this way." As a Christ following, fervent praying Mom I say Hallelujah! God does what God needs to do to accomplish what God wants! {" The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." 2 Peter 3:9*}
He is safe! His brain is not continually being altered by the chemicals that cause him to see life in a tragic, distorted way....the way that killed his brother 3 years ago yesterday. I have hope for his recovery as long as he is breathing! My God is a God of hope. { "I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Rom 15:13*} Walking by faith means I don't always see that God is working {Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Heb 11:1*} but I know He is and my son's arrest is clear evidence that He is. Sure, it is a darn shame...even tragic that God's chosen path for A is this way but God knows us and what will work best to get through our human, self entitled, stubborn, prideful little minds so that we choose to turn (repent) from our destructive ways and walk into the promise that He made to us through Christ.
A may choose to walk away again from this path but I have confident hope that God will not let go of the child He gave me to fervently pray for. I rejoice that He hears and answers, and hope that A chooses the promise of Christ before his final breath.
Amen.
*New Living Translation
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)